Conversation

There is nothing like a good conversation. The more controversial, the better. Topics that are boring, like the weather and what happened on some soap opera, feels like a shot to the liver with a ball-pin hammer. But if a conversation is started about favorite sexual positions or a story thats deeply personal and exciting, can keep my attention for hours.

Having quality conversations is a personal goal of mine. I want to know that a person is really interested in what im saying. When I talk with people I will ask myself, " am I boring this person?" If the answer is yes, then I will change the subject, or end the conversation.

Some of the best conversations are with unconventional people. They have views that make you think, whether you agree with them or not. People that choose not to associate with the outcasts of society may be doing themselves an injustice. Some of my most profound and thought-provoking ideas have come from people others may avoid. After all, being intelligent is about knowing a little about a lot of things.

Great conversation is an art. Like a painter knows which strokes to make to create his masterpiece, a conversationalist knows what words to use to stimulate interest in others. Its nearly orgasmic to experience. Great men, such as Thomas Jefferson, have been lauded for their conversational skills. He was celebrated for his wide-ranging and entertaining conversations with friends and acquintances. People that can stimulate the mind with words are always a commodity.

Most people want to drown you with pedestrian ideas. They don't seem to know, or care, if you want to hear such nonsense. In such instances, I feign interest. I smile and nod. Aahh...conversation truly is a lost art.

J.G.

Life

It is not easy to have a positive outlook on life. Everywhere you go there is negativity polluting your mind. This is just a fact of life, I guess. But I try, even though it feels like trying just isnt good enough. I can laugh at how ignorant the world is. But it would laugh right back at me. The best that I can do is block it all out. Block out all the gossip, all the forces that try and bring me down everyday. Its as though by living, you are constantly at war. Just making it home in one piece is a victory.

Lately, I have had trouble being friendly to people. I feel like most people are a waste of time, a waste of breath to talk to. There is such internal conflict in my soul, in my mind, and in my heart. I feel like im losing it sometimes, but at the same time I feel completely under control. A lot of times I just want solitude from the rigors of daily life. Thats were long hours of sleep come in to play. Its a must.

I need peace of mind. No worries. No needs. Only perfection.

J.G.

Crimson Truth

You ever wanted something but had no idea how to get it? I wanted to sleep with a lot of attractive girls in high school, but I found myself alone on most weekends. I was ignored by all those attractive girls. "Wants" change as time passes. But the biggest difference between high school and the present is that I know how to get what I want. But sometimes I feel hatred for those people that ignored me. To this day I absolutely hate it when I get ignored. Sounds so juvenile, I know. But its reality. Hatred only holds you back. It weighs you down, like carrying a bag full of bricks. Its always your choice. All you need to do is put the bag down.

So I do my best to focus on what I really want: social power. Power in all its many shapes and forms. Now, I dont wanna sound like a dictator or a nut job. I like to tell the truth, the crimson truth. Besides, what else is there? Why work, if not for the acquisition of power? I love people, but I wont beg for anything.

I must excel in life. Living by the dictates of another is not living at all, not at all. I've discovered that one must live for a cause, or for him or herself. Because in the end we are all alone in this world. Alone, but we need not be lonely. I love to love and to be loved by my friends. Having friends makes life richer. Power should not be seen as evil. Its not good nor evil. Its human. I inwardly laugh at moralists. I only outwardly agree, and nobody knows the difference.

I am god and the devil. I love and I hate. I bless you and I curse you. Better than the good guy. I dont pretend to be flawless. More than a villian; you know there is goodness...somewhere inside. I am...authentically...human.

And what more can anyone ask for?

J.G.