Commenting on the "Self"

We've always heard the saying "just be yourself." What exactly does that mean? What constitutes a person's "self," and how does anyone know who a person really is? I don't agree with the whole "just be yourself" logic. Not completely anyway. I have read that apart from genetics, a person's personality, or his or her "self," is largely learned behaviors and habits, most of which are acquired during childhood.



Most of these behaviors are learned passively, thus shaping the individuals mind on an unconscious level. Basically, who we "are" is based on our genes and early environmental influences. Now, this isn't necessarily our true personalities; it simply means that most of us are a product of our influences and experiences, especially childhood ones. Therefore, if a person wants to change something about himself, he must start with his influences and habits.


What many people fail to realize is that most people can actively influence and change their thoughts, habits, and personalities to a great extent. Napoleon Hill introduced a term years ago called autosuggestion. It is basically writing down and repeating a desired outcome in your mind on a daily basis. Over time, you will begin to embody this outcome. For example, lets say a boy was raised in an abusive household. As a result, he has grown up to be an aggressive and violent person (of course, not all people from such backgrounds become this way). Through the use of autosuggestion and perhaps some counseling, he can start to actively control his own thoughts and influences, and in time become a calm and relatively peaceful person.



All in all, we are who we choose to be. As adults, we must take responsibility for our lives, and never use the excuse that we are "just being ourselves." We are, to reference Henley "the masters of our fate, the captains of our souls."